Hi everyone, first off I’m sending my best wishes to you all.
Next I would like to give a quick explanation as to why this little blog home has been void of additions lately, however please don’t think I’m doing this for any desire for a response or a cry for an emotional crutch or anything like that. I just want to give you the facts.
We’ve had two close family deaths in very quick succession which you can imagine (as I am confident you are all emotionally intelligent people) has been a shock followed by a lot of sadness and shock and so on. It is a process in itself to grieve for one person but when that becomes more than one, it is a strange coil and wave of emotions. I’ve tried to be a support to Bee where I can be.
Death and philosophy walk hand in hand, we must allow life and philosophy to do the same.
I am hoping to get more posts up here and videos again in the near future so see you soon.
Back on Boxing Day (strangely) I posted a murder poem called Lizzie. I wasn’t thinking about murder, Christmas was quite a pleasant affair.
I do enjoy reading my poems out but don’t think I could ever face a crowd doing it but I can mask it with the power of video (insert reverb and 1980’s sound effects here). I would like to create versions to go along with all my written work eventually. I don’t know what’s come over me getting all these videos done…..actually I do, I downloaded the free software VSDC for video editing. If I didn’t have such a terrible laptop I probably would have created a few more fancy videos but it likes to crash on me which means I’m sticking with simple.
My YouTube channel is here if you would like to go and take a look.
The bad, the ugly and the good
I would remember you however I could.
A smudge for a face,
my mind’s misjudged, short-sighted at night,
even in grieving daydreams
the dappled light shadows your features to me.
And your voice that I think I can recall
sounds shrill and will not reach that lilting timbre
that made me safe
That made me warm.
We sit and talk in a mundane scene.
No award winning shots that capture our dream.
I know I am, but I keep it going
Don’t focus too much
or my brain will wake me,
out of this empty longing reverie.
Let’s just slide back in, butter dripping
down our fingers, eating chip sandwiches
at the kitchen table with a cup of tea
and the dog on your knee trying to catch scraps.
Then my mind switches to a stupid row
when I dug in my heels.
The hurt in your eyes. I cried that night.
Why does my brain punish me?
I know what’s coming next.
My lids are closed but I still see
you there, not there, don’t leave me
© Swarms Me 2017